Dad is 94 years old and still lives at home. He has been a widower now for five months.
A couple of days after Mom died we went to the graveside and looked things over. As we were leaving Dad said, “It’s hard to leave her here.” Mom suffered greatly the past few years of her life so this statement stopped me in my tracks. I looked at him to see how to respond. He was just stating a fact. His new reality was life without Mom, and adjustments were necessary.
My brother Gary is his main caregiver. He is on vacation so I am in Amarillo spending time with Dad until he returns. Gary told me I might need to do some grocery shopping for Dad.
THE GROCERY STORE
So I went to Walmart to get some things for him. The main things on the list were fruit – apples, bananas, oranges, and peaches.
For some reason Walmart was out of the little plastic baggies for fruit. I looked around and finally found some in the vegetable section. So I counted and tore off four bags and laid them on the top part of my shopping cart.
I went to the apples and pulled one of the baggies loose. When I finished choosing the apples and bagging them I noticed my baggies were missing. I looked all over, and under, for them. They were gone. Can you believe people would steal empty plastic baggies out of a shopping cart?
So I returned to the vegetable department and got three more baggies.
I got bananas and oranges. When I got to the peaches a lady was blocking access to them, so I tried to go around and she pushed her cart a little and further blocked access to the peaches. Then she started using her cart to do a few stretching exercises. All the while I’m thinking, “Lady please get out of the way so I can get some peaches and get out of here.” I also wondered if she was the type of person who would steal little plastic baggies out of someone’s grocery cart.
WITHOUT HONEY
Yesterday I made a pot of pinto beans for Dad, one of his favorite dishes. I bought a cornbread mix for the beans. It was frustrating to see I got the right brand of mix, but this box was flavored with honey. I did not want honey in my beans so I went to the store and got another box of just plain cornbread mix.
I prepared both boxes separately. One for the beans and the other we would eat as dessert with a dollop of butter. And it turned out great.
As we were discussing the honey flavored cornbread mix Dad says, “When you got Cheerios for me, you got Honey Nut Cheerios. (He even showed me the box.) I wanted plain Cheerios. I put some in Daisy’s bowl and she won’t eat Honey Nut Cheerios. We need to get some plain Cheerios.”
I explained they didn’t have plain Cheerios when I was at the store, but I would definitely get him another box, this time without honey hoping Daisy would be happy!
TIME AT THE PANCAKE STATION
This is one of Dad’s favorite restaurants and he suggested we go there for breakfast. Dad always has stories to tell so when we eat it takes a little longer for him than for me.
A little over a year ago we went there. I took my time eating and finished while Dad had hardly touched his meal. The waitress gave really good service, even took my plate after I finished. She came by again and again. Then she asked Dad, “Can I get you anything else?” He replied, “I would like a little more time.” And she graciously gave us all the time we needed.
Sometimes the greatest gift is just a little more time. I am thankful for such an incredible father and the gift of time together.